Meeting of the new Board of Pickman Publishing; Transcript

Dear Subscribers - at least those on a 36 Month Payment Plan,

I: Josef Geldhabe, the Chief Financial Officer for Pickman Publishing, cordially welcomes you...etc. etc.

The new Board

Clockwise from top left: Jurgen Horst (CEO); Josef GeldHabe (CFO); Julius T Drumpf (Brand Manager EMEA); Beau Darcy (Head of Digital and Multiple Universe Outreach); F T Kipling (Head of Sports and Culture); Doctor Penrose (Health Correspondent and Head of Artificial Intelligence and Robotics); Lottie Sweetlocks (Secretary to Jurgen Horst); The SprechDrucker 1900.

It is an unfortunate aspect of English Corporate Law that our Annual General Meeting of the Board of Pickman Publishing must be held publicly and subsequently published in the journal.

For this purpose I have requested our in-house Transcriber, Frau Lottie Sweetlocks to take minutes and also maintain a full audio record of the meeting.

As a consequence of our Noble Publishers understandable reluctance to speak the native pig-tongue of this dismal island we will be again using the miraculous Horst SprechDrucker 1900.. Available of course for purchase... see forthcoming Advert for details...

Anyway Gentlemen.. and .. and Lady? Goodness me Frau Sweetlocks what on earth has happened to your hair? This is a board meeting!

Lottie Sweetlocks (secretary to Jurgen Horst): (giggling childishly), I am so sorry Mr Geldhabe, Mr Horst has been chasing me round the conference table all morning!

Jurgen Horst (via SprechDucker 1900): HAW HAW HAW,  Cheeks of flavour place in my greased palm, begs the Goaty Slap Merchant.. HAW HAW...

Lottie Sweetlocks: Oh Horsty you saucy cove..  (Giggling..)

Josef Geldhabe: NEIN ENOUGH...bitte bitte, lets just get this over with..

Julius T Drumpf: You want me to smoke this fat goose-groper with ma 6-shooter Boss? He sounds like he's got Injun Brain Fever.. we don't act in Good Christian fashion... he'll be Rapin' and Scalpin' the 3 Counties by Noonsy... Devil be dog-damned he's already got his pecker out!!

Josef Geldhabe: NO DRUMPF.. HE IS ze Boss.. you can't shoot him. Mein Gott..

Julius T Drumpf: And the tubby broad with the beard who talks like an ass-coveting Preacher?? Could tie her up and sell her to the Chinaman.? Get 15 gold nuggets for a freaky piece like that.. Circus comes round but once a year folks.. lets milk this hair-chinned Hussy for all the dimes she got... you hears me?

Josef Geldhabe: ENOUGH, SILENCE EVERYONE!! GOTT IN HIMMELL. (Pants audibly) Frau Sweetlocks whats first on the agenda?

Lottie Sweetlocks: Errr..  top of the page it says... Destroy England

Josef Geldhabe:  NEIN, Scheisser.. thats for Office Use Only,  Next Page.. top..

Lottie Sweetlocks: Statement from Chief Financial Officer...

Josef Geldhabe: Oh thank god.. thats me...

----------------Pause in Transcript-----------------------