I speak to you from the furthest reaches of her Majesty's command. Not the gold flecked peaks of Guinea, nor the frozen wastes of the Southern Poles, but a place beyond the moon, beyond the solar system... then a bit left of Alpha Centauri, then keep going a bit further, then shift between 5-9 dimensional zones...then edge past the Endless Vortex... and thats it.. that is where I am. Yes...I think.
Basically beyond the abysmal void of Gog-Sothoroth there is a lone outpost of Empire where the Jack proudly flies, tea is taken, port is passed.. and the Glorious Queen toasted before whiskies and cigar. A sacred place; where if Johnny Foreigner takes it upon himself to soil the good name of the MCC or the Royal Horseguard a stout whipping (psychic or electro-voltaic) will bring him to his limited senses.
I have been absent these past days in preparation for this educational lecture. My superiors in Company House, desired me to take a more popular approach than I am accustomed to at the Royal Society. Depending on fluctuations in the Abysmal Neutron fields my physical appearance can vary from a multi-hued semi-transparent brain stem to a dodecahedron the size of the Albert Hall. Head Office persuaded me, slightly unwillingly, to pursue a more conventional appearance for the sake of these lectures.
Forgive me, but it is damned hard to find a decent barber this side of Shanghai!!
Anyway after a day and half's intense concentration I managed to shift a few atoms together to make up a pretty good likeness of my myself before "the incident" occurred...
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| The Drowned Man in Lecturers Garb. |
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