What What? You splutter? What in Prince Alberts name.. is a Mi-Go?
Mi-Go's are the Irish Tinkers of Yarh'Gul (the Unseen Village)
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| Dont buy ANYTHING! |
Yes on occasion they provide us with useful items.. re-regurgitated fungi-vomit to feed the coolies. And... MacPartout has managed to turn one of them into a sort of carrier pigeon that can transfer tuppenny missives between dimensions - reasonably efficiently.
But otherwise I would rather share a realm with Calcutta Cockroaches, than these abominations.
Bessie hates them... and barks incessantly in a Glaswegian accent whenever she senses their presence.
...in all honesty, despite the moral-boost she gives MacPartout and the Coolies, I wish Bessie had never fallen into the 5th Dimension.
I suppose in some respect it was my fault.
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| The Cursed Primrose Hill, |
Since my last doomed attempt (resulting in three score fatalities ) to scale Primrose Hill, I now insist on securely roping together any expedition I captain.
As a consequence, the tragic final Expedition of the Psychonautical Supper Club of the Royal Society... resulted not only in the deaths of my fellow scientists but the wholesale expulsion of 25-30 Nepalese Sherpas, Johnnie MacPartout and Bessie the Beagle out of Piccadily and into the Abysmal Void.
As if I did not have enough to deal with... a brigade of restive natives, an alcoholic Glaswegian and an incontinent sheep-dog were dumped onto my trans-dimensional plate for good measure!!
Questions, questions.. yes I know..
Why would the vicious Servitors of the Gloating Overlord kill my comrades, drown myself (psychically and physcially) and yet spare the corporeal forms of some foul-tongued colonial soil-wallahs?
Have you ever tried to dismiss a Nepalese or Glaswegian lackey without payment?
Those buggers will follow you till the end of the earth for a missed Rum-ration...The brutal Servitors could not be faulted for Effort... ... But an Uppity Hindu (or Scot) with his dander up... will not take deferred wages lightly...
...So the ill-mannered worker had the upper hand over the Insectoid management...and even beyond the Abysmal Void, the stench of Socialism reeks and corrupts...
Anyway here I am, surrounded by the slack-witted detritus of Empire...with not even a bull-whip for company.
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| Glaswegian Dog whispering |
But yes Bessie.. well Bessie wasn't actually roped to the party. But she and MacPartout are inseparable... I think she is the only one of us who understands his Jock diction.. so the silly mutt jumped into his arms seconds before de-materialisation.
Of course there were complications.. the weird voodoo of 5th dimensional physics has altered them both beyond measure.. but fortunately they are still able to fulfill their allotted tasks within the expedition.
Bessy was fused with MacPartout.. and - in all honesty - his Hebridean atomic structure has not impoved her toilet: in terms of function, manner, regularity or odour...
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| half beagle, half Glaswegian... |
Macpartout on the other hand is still recognisably himself, I am sure any wench on a Glaswegian dock would find him as attractive a man as his noisome peers...
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| MacPartout beyond the Abysmal Void. |
What I find scientifically fascinating is that the Non-Euclidean Physics of the Gloating Overlord has fused MacPartout not with the atomic structure of an incontinent beagle... but with his OWN MOUSTACHE...If I can discover why, it will surely be the scientific discovery of the century.. eclipsing Darwin, Bell and Faraday!
By her Majesty's Grace,
Your Loyal Servant, alone yet unbowed,
The Drowned Man
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